Next up on the movies to be opinionated about is Pocahontas II. Why? Because it was actually on a list of "Best Disney Sequels". Granted, it was #15 of 15, but it was still on the list. Then I noticed that Little Mermaid II & III were both on the list...as was Cinderella 3...but not 2...
Long story short, I decided that I HAD to see this movie. Because if Cinderella 3 can beat it, it's got to be some kind of wretched. So here goes nothing.
0:00:56 - Wait, is this a movie, or one of Disney's terrible 1990s TV shows? And did they get Mel Gibson back, or is that someone else?
0:01:41 - No shit, Sherlock!
0:13:37 - Boop!
0:16:45 - Shunned by a tree. Harsh.
0:18:33 - Because she needed the translation of her own sign language? And spoken haltingly? Oi.
0:23:53 - How is her hair blowing backwards if the ship's sails are being blown forwards?
0:26:43 - What is this, Assassin's Creed V: Pocahontas Needs to Wear Pants?
0:31:49 - So...are those paintings like the illustrations of this world? Because they're hyper-realistic in comparison to the actual people.
0:38:02 - Jafar?
0:38:57 - She looks like a powdered donut.
0:48:18 - He's John Smith, you twit. Like that isn't painfully obvious.
0:52:12 - Dafuq?!
0:54:49 - If only taking down an elaborate hairstyle was that easy.
0:59:34 - In the first movie, he could scarcely move in that armor. Now you expect me to believe that he can heft his bulk around like a young, well-trained, in-shape soldier?
1:00:56 - Gridlock, much?
1:02:55 - Most awkward hand animation ever.
1:04:51 - Like a sheep on its hind legs.
Overall: Not as horrific as I had expected, but there's no way that this should be considered best anything.
